Drama Queen Reigns Again!

Current mood: excited

It's been a very long time. I've been yearning for a theatrical outlet since high school (yes, that's over 15 years ago). It's amazing how something that was such a huge and omnipresent part of the first half of my life (performing writ large: singing, dancing, storytelling, acting, etc.), has largely been absent in the latter half of my life. Not entirely absent, but mostly absent of formal opportunities for public performance.

When I was a college freshman, I tried out for several campus productions, and even though I was part of the "alternative" crowd (hippy, artsy-fartsy, drama, queer, et al), it was impossible to break through the impenetrable insularity of the theatre clique. Apparently it discouraged and extinguished any further targeted efforts to participate in the performing arts for well over a decade.

To my credit, my life has never been devoid of creative outlets or artistic expression. Where performance plugs into a public platform for play, I've continued to cultivate more contemplative activities like writing, lettering, and crafts. Our house is also a substantial work of art, and I'd go so far as to say that my activism and community organizing efforts are also a form of public/collective art. Most recently, I have developed an interest and expertise in filmmaking, a medium I find especially enticing.

But now, I finally come back to this love of the formal stage. After pining for it, after actively daydreaming for the past couple of years about various ways I might create this reality, it fell in my lap. And interestingly, it is an amalgamation of my past and present talents and interests... a playful yet serious role-play on behalf of women and their struggle for human rights and bodily integrity.

I suddenly find myself giddy with anticipation, and I can almost taste what I've been missing. I am remembering how it felt to be a kid; how fun it is to wear a different character; how every time I open up my heart, my voice, my gifts, I am pole-vaulting into a cosmic eclipse where vulnerability and invincibility become one and the same.

When I was growing up, my Mamaw was one of my biggest encouragers and mentors. If I was singing in church, performing in a play, telling stories, clogging, she was there. She was my agent, my producer, my role model. I remember watching soap operas with her after school, and she would longingly gaze at the screen and confess that she wished she could've played a part in that daytime drama. It seemed silly to me at the time... a soap opera star, of all things to dream about.

But as I got older, I realized that she was not only serious, but that she was a little sad that she had a dream that she didn't pursue. She found other outlets: playing piano at church and for local civic organizations, writing well over 1,000 songs, painting, writing poetry, gardening; all of which she continues to capitalize on today. She chose to raise a family and serve her community. These were not bad choices, and I certainly benefited from them. She was able to live life on a stage of her own making, but I think she still harbors some sadness at somewhat "settling," not stepping out and soaping the opera.

I'm fortunate to still have my Mamaw in my life; she's still one of my biggest fans and supporters. I'm also fortunate to live in a place like Berea where so many inspiring examples of multiple media and artistic endeavor reside. I'm blessed and grateful to be who and where I am.

And... I'm absolutely thrilled to be included in Berea College's V-Day Campaign events and performances. (Infinite thanks for the opportunity, Courtney... you had no idea, did you?!) I'll be performing the closing monologue "Welcome to the Wetlands" for all of the events (documentary viewings on March 4 & 5, and both performances below), as well as another monologue called "Fur Is Back" by Eve Ensler on March 7. So I ain't wasting no time dipping my toes in the water; I'm diving in heart first.

[Backposted from MySpace 2/5/08]