Monday night, my single night at home between trips, I had a most definitely traumatic dreaming/waking experience. In my dream, I was in a building and noticed a crack moving up the wall. I wasn't really surprised, as if it were something that I anticipated as inevitable and only a matter of time (a key theme here), but I felt an urgency to inform everyone (who?) to evacuate the building. The crack, however, was not simply in the edifice but in space and time as well (a couple of connections to real life here: the crack that Linda Varwig witnessed crawling up the wall in Lincoln Hall before it collapsed and the "Farscape" episode we recently watched in which there was a fracture in the space-time continuum--okay the latter wasn't "real life" but I watched the show in real life anywho).
So I got up to get (everyone?) out of the building, except the weird thing was that I actually leapt out of bed but was not fully awake. I looked at the crack, which was a rippling wave of dark blue like the ripples of a heat wave or the aurora borealis, and actually said out loud, "What the hell is that?!" Again, I uttered this in physical reality, but I was still in between dreaming and waking, almost as if I were actually caught inside the crack in time and space that I was (or thought I was?) observing. Then I started walking toward the edge of the loft and was finally jolted awake when I walked into the mirror by the stairs.
My heart was pounding, and though I was finally fully awakened, I not only didn't know where I was (where on earth) but I didn't know who I was (what planet, what plane of existence, what place in space or time). It took me a while to understand that I was alive in this body, that I was at home, and that I came so very close to leaping off (or stumbling down the stairs) of the loft. (I'm now reminded of a film in the spirit of "What the Bleep?!" that a friend recommended and that I still have yet to see, "One Giant Leap." Perhaps this is my cue to view...) My heart still racing, I finally made my way back to bed and started to deep breath to calm myself down and return to sleep.
It's strange to me that I should feel so disoriented and displaced the one night I was home in between literally traveling to other places/spaces and times (zones anyway). Apparently this is a theme that I need to explore more. My musical selection "The In Sound from Way Out" is very apt, though I had no idea that I was going to write about this when I chose it. Perhaps the "observer" in and beyond this quantum reality is trying to tell me something; I have no doubt that part of the message is to practice my active listening skills...
[Backposted from MySpace 10/4/06]
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